Yes, it’s 2025 – and too many women still don’t deal with the money

This conversation keeps coming up. Over coffee, at events, inside my programmes. Different women, same story. They’re in long-term relationships, often married, and their partner takes care of the finances. He earns more, he sorts the bills, the mortgage, the pension. She’s either focused on the family, running a business, or holding a million things together—but the money side? That’s his domain.

Sometimes it’s always been that way. Sometimes it just evolved like that without anyone ever really deciding. Either way, she’s not involved, and it’s worked. For years, even decades, it’s worked.

Then something changes.  A divorce, a death, a major shift. And all of a sudden, she’s left to figure it all out—with no roadmap, no context, and no idea where to begin.

The women I speak to are smart, strong, and doing everything for everyone else. But the money? That’s the one area they’ve stayed out of. It just wasn’t something they felt they needed to think about. It wasn’t urgent—until it was.

And then they’re playing catch-up, in the middle of a crisis. Trying to understand financial documents, work out passwords, manage accounts, speak to banks, chase paperwork—and often, doing all that while grieving or processing huge emotional upheaval. It’s a horrible time to be learning how it all works.

Here’s the thing most people don’t realise. Around 56% of married women say they leave the long-term financial decisions to their husbands. That number rises among younger women—millennials are even more likely to step back from finances than women in their fifties or sixties. So this isn’t just a generational thing. It’s still happening.

In the UK, about 72% of couples are in households where the man earns more. In the US, 69% of married couples follow the same pattern. In Australia, it’s slightly more balanced, but even there, the default is often still that he deals with the big-picture money and she handles the day-to-day. These numbers matter, not because money should be split fifty-fifty, but because they reflect how often women don’t feel ownership over the money in their lives.

And here’s what’s really important: almost 90% of women will be solely responsible for their finances at some point in their lives, whether through divorce, widowhood, or simply by outliving their partner. But far too many only start paying attention when they no longer have a choice.

I’ve seen the fallout of that up close. Women who had no idea how much they had—or didn’t have. Women discovering debts, missed insurance policies, unclaimed pensions, or entire financial accounts they knew nothing about. And once the fog starts to lift, almost every single one of them says the same thing: I wish I’d asked sooner.

But they didn’t. Because it didn’t feel like their place. Or it felt too late. Or they were too busy. Or they felt embarrassed. Or they simply trusted that everything was being taken care of.

If that’s been your experience, I want you to know there’s no shame in it. Truly. But there’s also no reason to keep going like that. You can decide today that things are going to change. You can start small. You can ask the questions now, when things are calm, rather than when you’re in survival mode.

So, how can you start to take back some of that control?

You don’t need to overhaul your life. You don’t need to learn everything overnight. But here’s what is worth doing.

Get a clear picture of where your money is. All of it. What comes in, what goes out, what you owe, what you own. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Just knowing where you stand brings a sense of peace. Because suddenly you’re not in the dark anymore.

Start opening the statements. Look at the bank account. Ask your partner to show you the pension breakdown. You don’t need to know every detail straight away, but being curious is a powerful first step.

If you’re in business, pay yourself properly. Stop treating it like a hobby, even if your partner’s income covers everything. That business is part of your financial future. The more conscious you are about it, the more freedom you create.

Take responsibility without judgment. This isn’t about doing things perfectly. It’s about making choices with your eyes open. Start tracking your spending so you can see what actually matters to you.

And above all, talk about it. Talk to your partner. Talk to a coach. Talk to someone who’s a few steps ahead. Money doesn’t have to be private or shameful or off-limits. You’re allowed to ask questions, and you’re allowed to learn.

I work with women every day who are stepping into this space—many for the first time. Some have avoided it for years. Some are starting again after big life changes. Some just want to stop feeling like they’re never quite sure where they stand. What they all have in common is a desire to stop outsourcing their financial power. To stop waiting for permission. To stop pretending it’s not their responsibility. And when they do? The difference is unbelievable.

They walk differently. They make bolder choices. They stop feeling scared of the future. And they stop repeating the old patterns that kept them playing small.

So if you’ve been quietly worrying that you’re not good with money, or that your partner knows more, or that it’s too late to get on top of it—I promise you, it’s not.

And if you want support, I’m here. Whether it’s through one of my programmes, my community, or a one-to-one session, this is the work I do every day—helping women take back control of their finances so they can live with clarity, confidence, and freedom.

You don’t have to wait for something to go wrong before you get serious about money.

You can start now, on your terms, for your life. You might be interested in joining The Money Mindset Accountability Club. Click here for more info.